Don’t Believe The Hype
As Christmas looms, let’s take some time to reflect on how videogames are basically a constant reminder of everyone’s favourite stolen pagan holiday. The lead-up to Christmas is better than actual Christmas; the promise of snow, presents and watching all four Shrek films is always stronger than the reality.
In a similar way, the announcements for new games are often a better present than the arrival of the actual game itself. This isn’t always the case; it was widely thought Mario x Rabbids was going to be a right horroshow and it actually turned into one of the best games of 2017, but GENERALLY it’s way more fun to speculate about what could be than it is to receive what you’re getting, right?
Enter PSX 2017, which took place this week, ripe with new game announcements. There was also the Game Awards 2017 (a.k.a The Keighleys or The Sponsorship Showcase) which had it’s fair share of note-worthy ‘stuff’, so let’s have a think about the best and worst bits of those, shall we?
No messing around here, this is what most people have been chatting about this week. An awards ceremony with Hideo Kojima and his clique, Norman Reedus and whichever of the Del Toros it is he knocks about with was always going to throw something up about the game everyone knows the name of but no one knows anything about. If you were hoping the eight minute trailer might shed some light on this then you’re fucking high, mate. Looking like Chris Nolan directing a crossover between Alien and Destiny, there was no gameplay, no clear narrative and no release date. It feels like Hideo is heading for two huge errors here, the first being the ‘Chinese Democracy’ problem of generating too much hype for anything to possibly live up to, and secondly the ‘Lost’ error of raising lots of questions without being able to answer them.
Still, early days innit?
Obviously Zelda: Breath of the Wild won game of the year. Look, no one cares if you don’t agree, it’s the best game of the year. Elsewhere, it was nice to see ‘double-A’ game Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice picking up some recognition, and Wolfenstein 2 being named Best Action Game, especially as it’s well cheap everywhere now. You can see the full list here, I’m not going to go through them all. What do you think is, Wikipedia?
BREATH OF THE WILD DLC!
Nintendo managed a ‘partial Beyoncé’ here, dropping a surprise release and trailer for the new DLC we were expecting but had no release date for. A game that will feature highly in any decent Game of the Year list, it’s nice for Ninty to be reminding us of the game that sold so many Switches in GOTY season. And what can you expect? It seems to be focussing on the charming champions of Hyrule, as well as offering a selection of clothing including some new hats (including a beret, very continental), a new dungeon, some shrines and a dirt bike.
NEW FROM SOFTWARE GAME!
Now NeoGaf is gone who even cares about this?
NEW SOUL CALIBUR/EDGE/BLADE!
The franchise that has had three names (and one of them isn’t even spelled properly) returns to plug something of a gap in the market. It seems odd to say about fighting games, but seeing as the big names are either Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, superhero spin-offs of those or an underwhelming edition of Tekken, maybe we need Soul CaliEdgeBlade more than we realise? Not much to see in this trailer other than some weapon-weidling scrapping and a vague ‘2018’ release window, but we’re hopeful this could be decent, and also that the fucking excellent original theme tune will reappear
TOO MUCH BAYONETTA!
Presumably enormously popular with people who still listen to Evanescence, Platinum Games’ typically hectic shooter Bayonetta is not only being revived on Switch in the form of a double-bill of the previous games, but also getting a third instalment. The trailer is short and doesn’t really tell you anything, sort of like a child that supports Brexit.
Job Simulator is currently the best VR game going (don’t @ me), offering owners of expensive and under-utilised headsets the chance to be an absolute dick to unsuspecting customers in a variety of service jobs, all in a Yo Gabba Gabbag-esque colourful world full of 80s-looking robots. It’s unclear how Vacation Simulator will offer the same punk-thrill of sticking it to the man if you’re on holiday rather than fighting back against a job you despise, but I’m looking forward to finding out (note; the point of Job Simulator isn’t actually to be a dick, this is very much a case of ‘projection’)
A WAY OUT!
There’s another trailer for A Way Out, which is presumably an exercise in how cheesy a video game can be in 2018 and get away with it. We know director Josef Fares has decent form for inventive gameplay but honest to god, all I can think of when I see a trailer for this game is the sixth-form drama class dialogue and the…. BASIC-NESS of it all. Still, Josef is enthusiastic and people seem to like that, so maybe the product overall will redeem lines such as “ARE YOU TWO TWINS? I’M SEEIN’ DOUBLE!” *cringes self inside-out* Josef is also apparently the only person up for defending EA at the moment, while also calling the Oscars “bullshit”, beginning the most confusing heel/face dynamic since Roman Reigns. To be honest I’ve watched the video of said rant a few times and I’m not really sure what he means, it’s all bit ‘Tom Cruise on Oprah’.
Right look, those are the main bits. There’s actually quite a bit more but you know how the internet works if you want to know about the MediEvil remake or whatever. Honestly, I told you this would happen if you all bought the remastered Crash Trilogy and I was right. You’ve only got yourselves to blame.